Me? …Never!

parentingI admit: before I was a mother, I was a free-spirited being, but also very much stuck to my ways. I had it very clear “claríiiisimo” what my children would not be. And I kept saying to myself, “No, no, me? Never!” And then, when you become a mother, it’s a SLAP in the mouth because you realize what you said was the greatest nonsense in the world. Right?

It is clear that I am not alone. In fact, I’ve heard more than one woman say, “I was a better mother before being a mother.”

The truth is that I disagree with that statement. Fortunately, I think I’m a better mother than I “planned” because I learned to eat my own words and to adapt to the needs of my children. Isn’t that, perhaps, what makes us better mothers?

But there I was: me and my free-spirited yet strict self. And I thought:

I will never…

I will never say yes after having said no.
I will never let them sleep in our bed.
I will never give a pacifier.
I will never let you cry yourself to sleep.
I will never lose patience.
I will never be angry at them.
I will never give boob over two years old.
I will never, never, never…

Yes, I was a loudmouth. I was saying what I now see were some preconceived misconceptions about motherhood and parenting, such as the co-sleeping and prolonged breastfeeding.

To rectify is wise! I’m glad I did, and (hopefully) I will be able to continue doing so for a long, long time. Moreover, I am very happy not to have changed my mind about the absolute limits. Now, when it comes to parenting, I think:

I hope never to…

Prefer to be working rather than being with them.
Think of  my own selfishness instead of theirs.
Ignore their crying.

And there are things I hope I never stop doing …

I hope I never stop telling them each day that I love them.
I hope I never go to sleep angry with them.
I hope I never go to sleep without kissing them goodnight.
I hope I am always able to understand them.
I hope I never stop listening to them.
I hope I never stop putting myself in their place.

 

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