It had been a regular day for us. By regular I mean we had all overslept that morning, rushed to get dressed and out the door by 7:15, worked a ten + hour day and then rushed to pick up the boys before we got charged for being late. So yes, it had been a regular day.
I apologized to the boys’ teachers and aides for being late and scurried the boys out of their school and into the car. Once we were all buckled up and ready to go I asked them what I do everyday, “How was your day? What exciting things did you do today?” Most days I get a “Good, Mom”, “We practiced our sounds and letters.” and a complete rundown of who made it to timeout that day. But this particular afternoon I got instead, “MOM, you forgot to give me the calendar AGAIN for my teacher. Why do you keep forgetting?” You see I work on the monthly calendar for their school and well we were a few days into the new month and it still wasn’t out.
OOPSIE. He was right. I had been telling him just about every night that week that the next morning I was going to send something to his teacher and every morning that week I had forgotten. I responded by saying, “Sorry, I keep forgetting. I’ve been busy all week. Mom has a lot of things going on.” To which he responded with the “F” word.
That’s right, my three year old told me, “Mom, you need to FOCUS and not forget tomorrow.”
I really wanted to stop in the middle of the road right at that moment turn around and ask him if he had really just told me, the woman who brought him into this world to FOCUS! Did he even know what that word meant? Apparently he did at that moment because he had used it perfectly.
He had no idea I had been up late getting his teacher gifts ready and my secret elf gifts at work ready. And that I had already started packing for all of us for that trip we were taking next week. But I didn’t stop. I kept going because he was right. In the hustle and bustle of work, mommyhood and the crazy holidays I had lost FOCUS as I’m sure so may of us do. The days and weeks had just been going by filled with work, school and well just life. I decided that night that as soon as we were out for vacation, I was going to use that time to REFOCUS. Not so easy to do while on the road with two little ones but easier to do when you stop to think about what’s really important: family and being the best you for that family.
That night and probably for the next few days I really thought hard about how for me it is often so easy to lose FOCUS and start worrying about finances, whether or not I am being the best mom, wife, friend and employee. Truth be told there are days that it seems I am failing at everything. Yet I keep pushing myself, probably too thin and end up being not so happy with anything. In fact there are also days when I’ve become jealous of those around me who seem to have more freedoms. So in 2016 I’m choosing to make FOCUS my word and part of who I am. Here are a few things I’m trying to make sure it happens:
- Have a weekly/monthly ritual that allows me some “me” time. — For me this is getting out to run a few days a week. Strange as it may seem I enjoy that time. No kids, no work, no problems. However this year I
need toWILL add time to just be with friends. Dinner, drinks, or maybe just spending time with them but something that gives me time to be me, not mom, not wife but me.
2. Happiness BC. — Before having my boys I loved to craft and I found time for it. The lovely Timehop app reminds me of this every now and then by showing me what I used to be able to create BC (before children). I have started to try and get back into this and have found what made me happy so this year I need to go back to that. What are your go to activities for happiness?
3. Motivate, Volunteer. – At work there is opportunity to feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish a project or help a teacher with an issue. At home not so much. My hope is to get out and help people as best I can. Connect more with the community, heck even maybe just our neighbors and find small ways to make a difference.
Who’s to say any of these things will help, but I’m trying. In the end perhaps this quote will help us all clear up that blurred focus…