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Finding My Happy Place

“Are you happy mommy? Are you happy, happy?”

This seems to be a constant question that recently has been coming out of my two-year-old daughter’s mouth. In the midst of chaos, sickness and craziness, and even on a random ordinary day, my daughter will suddenly ask me, “Are you happy?” 

That one simple question has really brought so much focus into my life. I’m re-examining how I choose to see things and let things affect me, and I’m realizing just how happy I really am. This heaven-sent little person is my constant reminder that although things may not always be perfect, there is always something or someone to be happy about. 

A Three Bath Kind of Day

Just recently she’s been sick with RSV. It’s been tough to cope with feeling helpless, anxious and stressed. But yes, I am still indeed happy. Despite the fevers, the vomiting, and the sleepless nights, I am happy. Happy that I can take care of her. Happy that I can take a day (or three days in my case) off from work to be by her side, take her to doctor visits, get her the medicine she needs, cuddle, hug and kiss the sicky virus away.

At one point, she sat in a bath for the third time in one day. She had thrown up twice, once all over the bed and the second all over me. I had just enough time to pull the sheets off the bed, get her in a bath, put on new sheets before she threw up all over me. By this time I was feeling overwhelmed — I was alone with no one around to help me. I’m sure my daughter could see the anxiety and worry written all over my face.

She asked me in her quiet, shaky voice,  “Mommy are you happy? Are you happy, happy?”

My poor child had tears in her eyes and vomit in her hair, yet she managed give me a smile and still wanted to know if I was HAPPY. She’s only two; how does she even know to ask something like this? Why would she even ask something like this, when she’s the one that is miserable?

As the shock subsided, I felt my heart get warm as the desperation slowly disappeared. The truth is that there is no other place I would’ve rather been than standing in a shirt full of her puke, washing the even more puke off of her. Although she’s been sick, things could be so much worse.

So, yes I am happy, so very happy and thankful that my daughter was able to bring light to a very hard day for both of us.

Finding My Happy Place

So often, she reminds me to enjoy the simple day-to-day tasks of being a mother.

“Are you happy?” she asked one day while she grabbed my hand and we proceeded to walk to the room to change her stinky diaper! We’re working on potty training, but we just haven’t mastered it yet. She’s trying — we both are — but like everything else, accidents happen, literally in this case. I’m about to change her smelly diaper and she questions my happiness?

I swear sometimes I feel like she may be taunting me. Maybe my face says otherwise when having to wipe a stinky butt, but yes I am happy. I am happy that I have a daughter to call my own. I’m happy that she’s still little yet she’s growing oh so fast! I am happy that she’s bright and intuitive and curious. I’m happy that my talkative, bossy little diva is a big girl, yet still a baby in so many ways, wearing diapers…well training pants, but still all the same.

“Are you happy?” she asked the other day when we were about to walk into her room. It was a total and complete disaster. We haven’t quite figured out the clean up routine! But in all honesty, I am happy. Not that her room looks like a tornado went through it and her toy chest exploded all at once, but I’m happy that she has a mommy and daddy, friends and family that love her and spoil her with toys galore! She literally has a ton of books and toys to keep her entertained for years to come.

Christmas is right around the corner and “toys and presents” are on her list to Santa! She isn’t specific yet, but I’m sure soon enough that will be the case. I’m happy that she has a wonderful imagination and spends so much time talking to her toys, baking in her toy kitchen, and caring for all her babies. She is quite the mother hen. 

“Are you happy?” came the familiar question as we were laying in bed getting ready to call it a night. I think I’m happiest in those little tiny moments: sharing my bed and pillow with her, sharing my arms to cuddle with her, sharing my prayers and dreams with her.

As I lie in bed at the the end of the day, with nothing but silence and darkness surrounding us, I’m happy to have ended a day by her side and happy to know that I’ll be waking up to a day new with so many opportunities to find happiness and joy. She truly is my happy place. She’s the light in eyes, my reason for living and the little love of my life. 

Happy Holidays

Happy Place2As the Christmas holiday comes near, my beautiful child has just made me appreciate my life so much more. God has given me the greatest gift of all — being a mother to Isabella — and because of that I will always be happy. The holidays are a time of cheer, being with family and loved ones and enjoying every minute of it. I intend to do that for the rest of my life by her side.

I asked my daughter this morning, “Are you happy?” and she responded, “Yes.” When I asked her why. She said without hesitation, “Because I have you, Mommy.” Tears quickly welled up in my eyes and I hugged her as long as her little squirmy body let me. How can I not be happy after hearing those little words from my innocent and loving daughter?

My happiness is tied to her happiness and vise versa, and trust me when I say, I will always keep that to heart.

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