First day of school has come and gone but the memories of how I felt before school began stay fresh.
My daughter is stronger than Mommy. She has been through five surgeries since birth.
Letting her go into the world without me is the scariest feeling any mommy can and will have in their lifetime. Letting go of my fear was not easy.
The thoughts of “What if?” crept into my mind weeks before the first day of school. The fear made me anxious and stressed. I couldn’t think straight. Quickly the weeks and days were closer for her to attend kindergarten. Planning with fear in the way is not easy to handle but I had to make sure my daughter was ready and secured for school.
As the days crept closer the fear was higher and I couldn’t take it a day more. I had to face the fear whether I wanted to or not.
The night before school I did not sleep well. The thoughts of her needing me were taking over my need to rest. I know she was well prepared to be taken care of by the teacher and the nurse. I just had to accept the fact that my little girl would be alright that she was in good hands and I had to let the fear disappear.
As I sit here remembering those feelings, I think about how fear can become our worst enemy; it’s natural to fear but not natural to let fear take control. I had to make the decision to cast my fears so that I could go on through the day.
Mommies will always have more than enough fear to last us a lifetime, but if we let the fear take control we will never be able to enjoy those happy moments of our children’s accomplishments. Let the fear go and love strong in God’s speed.