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My Husband Hates Social Media

About a month ago we sang happy birthday to my sweet two year old girl and she was sooo adorable. She clapped and sang along and had a huge smile on her face.

My first thought was…I can’t wait to show this to everyone on Instagram.

My excitement was soon squelched by my social media hating husband who said no way.  His exact words were, “I don’t want my greatest memories to be displayed for the entire world on the internet. Those are only for us. We don’t need to show everyone such wonderful family moments.”

Um… I live for showing everyone my greatest family moments.

And this is where we are intrinsically different.

There is not one part of him that understands the fascination with Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, etc. In fact, it completely baffles him. He is genuinely confused by selfies and self-proclamations of people’s random feelings on the internet. He would go so far as to tell you that all of this is ruining society. He is completely confused when he sees someone post a selfie sitting in their car. He’ll ask me, “Do they think they look that good that they need to take a picture and share it with the world?”

If I had to describe him using a character from a movie, I would say he closely resembles Robert De Niro from Meet the Parents. His most common phrase is trust no one. Whereas, I would describe me as a love everyone, be kind to your neighbor; kill them with kindness kind of gal.

He gets confused by the amount of information people put on Facebook about their lives. When he sees someone post photos when they are on vacation he sees it as announcing to the world that their home is vacant and unguarded.

There is a part of me that is actually very grateful that he hates social media. The kids and I are never competing with his Iphone or Ipad for his attention. I have friends who struggle with their husbands being on the internet a lot. It can be hard on a marriage when both are plugged in for long amounts of time. Instead, his lack of interest in social media helps me be on it less.

Nonetheless, I recently told him that social media was a necessary part of daily life and I think my reasons are pretty convincing.

Reasons Why Social Media is Necessary for This Wife

~Facebook is a way to keep in touch with those I love.hey girl

~As I meet new friends, I get to know them better through Facebook.

~I need Facebook to read random articles that make me cry, laugh, or get super angry.

~Without Facebook, how would I know what is trending in the world?

~Facebook lets me follow everything I love! It is a woman’s dream!

~Instagram just makes me happy. I love turning a normal photo into a work of art.

~Instagram helps me stay fashionable with all the fashion bloggers I follow.

~Pinterest helps me create food that he enjoys eating.

~Pinterest allows me to create virtual boards containing inspirational quotes and hilarious e-cards that can brighten my day.

Although he tolerates all my reasons for needing social media in my life, he is not completely convinced that it is necessary to survive in life. So, for now, you will just have to imagine us singing happy birthday to our baby girl because there is no way I am going to post it anytime soon.

Any other wives out there have husbands like this? If anyone actually says yes, how do you handle it?

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21 Responses to My Husband Hates Social Media

  1. Gabriela Prall December 3, 2014 at 6:53 am #

    This describes my husband to a T! He does love to check Facebook everyday though, he doesn’t have an account but on spare times he likes to get in and read through the fed. He likes to check the garage sale pages and everyone’s posts and pictures to then be able to say things like “why do they have to post that?!” Haha
    I rely on Facebook too much, sometimes I believe it has become an extreme hobby of mine. I have been trying to space out my time in it slowly but like you said, it keeps me up to date with many things I love!
    I have a precious group page that needs to be kept up with, and I love, love, love to share everything I can with my friends!
    Pros of Facebook: can be an awesome support group when need it! (Prayer requests, advice and uplifting messages). My family in Monterrey keeps us with the kids growing up as I post pictures almost every day (my mom wishes I did every 30 min!). I can keep up with them too and all the new babies in the family.
    I am not saying Facebook is vital for anyone but for this 24/7 mom, is a great “distraction” tool during the day while the kids play or sleep.
    How do I cope with my hubby and his opposition?
    Put the phone away while he is home. Enjoy my family time because even though I would love to post everything we do, some memories are to stay just in our hearts and the inside of our home.

    • Anastasia Rodriguez Perez
      Anastasia Rodriguez Perez December 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm #

      Thanks for the great advice!

    • Tonya December 16, 2014 at 3:10 pm #

      I’ve worked hard to take some of your advice Gabby! I really appreciated it:)

  2. Vannessa Eggleston December 3, 2014 at 11:33 am #

    Yes! yes! yes! Everything you said! I finally opened my husband up his own Facebook account because he would look at mine occasionally. I still have to check with him sometimes when I post because he does like to keep some stuff “just ours”. I’m totally sharing this with him. Except for the Pinterest part, I don’t cook so I need to figure out how to make that one work for me. Lol!

  3. Celeste Garcia December 3, 2014 at 12:01 pm #

    My fiancé doesn’t even partake in any social media, other than pinterest! But he is almost as bad as I am with pinterest!! He uses it so much for vacation ideas, and anything {and EVERYTHING!} having to do with hunting, fishing, hiking, exercising, and healthy eating. He definitely puts in his 2 cents worth of opinion when it comes to instagram and facebook. But for the most part, he doesn’t really complain about my social media time! And quite honestly, like you Tonya, I do ease up on the social media thing when we are together. I like to post as much as I can of my most fondest & dearest moments – but I do it when {and if!} I have a free moment! Great post!

    • Tonya December 16, 2014 at 3:10 pm #

      Thanks Celeste! I appreciate your kind comment!

  4. Ashley December 3, 2014 at 1:32 pm #

    My husband is the same. He sort of “gets” Twitter as he likes to read it for fun but HATES if he has followers (seriously?!) … he logs onto Facebook very rarely and can’t remember his IG password. I plug the phone in to charge in another room to appease him … but he hates it and doesn’t get it. He does see the value in IG because I make photo books so it’s tangible for him in that one small way.

    • Tonya December 16, 2014 at 3:09 pm #

      Thanks for the comment! I just recently began charging me phone at night downstairs and don’t take it upstairs with me at the end of the day. It has been a huge help!

  5. ellen December 16, 2014 at 2:41 am #

    My husband is also not a fan of social media- twitter (no) instagram (no) pinterest (no) nor facebook. Hiss thing is youtube and he wtches lectures, shows and stufff that interests him and thats it. He barely will acknowledge email.

    We do agree and have made rules though many years ago regarding sharing pictures / personall info. Thats a big no-no. We just dont do it.

    I do like blogs though obviously….. I like to read about new recipes and reviews etc. I also enter contests – I donate to Toys for Tots and enter all year -so if it wasnt for that. I likely wouldnt have an instagram account or pinterest for that matter.

    Like you said partners can end up competing against phones, computers and IPads/tablets and our rule has eliminated that for the most part.

    • Tonya December 16, 2014 at 3:07 pm #

      Thanks for the comment! I think that having rules is a good idea or at least discussing how the other person feels about the amount of information out there. I, too, obviously love blogs! I can’t give those up:)

  6. Hannah December 16, 2014 at 9:05 am #

    My husband isn’t quite so extreme, but he has similar opinions regarding social media. He has FB, but he only checks it about once a month.

    I always check with him before I post things he says. I also have my friends list categorized, and I have my settings set so only those in our close circle of friends see my regular posts.

    • Anastasia Rodriguez Perez
      Anastasia Rodriguez Perez December 16, 2014 at 11:14 am #

      That’s a great suggestion. Thanks!

    • Tonya December 16, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

      Thanks for the comment! Having my friends list categorized is a big goal of mine! I think it’ll make me feel better when I post things.

  7. Nikki January 1, 2015 at 5:17 pm #

    I’m in a similar situation in which my husband does not want anything personal posted on Facebook. It really annoyed me, but after he sat me down and explained why, he asked me to trust him. So I did. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t like it. But I know he has our family’s best interest at heart.

    The truth of the matter is, the world we live in is not what we wish it was. There are evil people who hate America and anyone who would protect her. There are those who abuse social media to hurt innocent people for fun. Some may call it living in fear, but we call it taking the target off our back.

    So I mail my family pictures as often as possible, email videos occasionally, and change my passwords regularly. Wishing we could live in ignorant bliss is pointless, so I pray instead.

    • Tonya January 6, 2015 at 3:14 pm #

      Nikki, thanks for your comment! I definitely think the key is compromise. I don’t post everything I’d like to out of respect to him but I enjoy communicating with others through social media. I could not agree more with you, though, about being aware and not living in ignorant bliss. Social media can be dangerous and we need to be careful even if it is because our husbands have pushed us too.

  8. Amy January 2, 2015 at 5:22 pm #

    That is my husband, to a tee.

  9. RE May 22, 2015 at 9:57 am #

    It really does bother me that my husband doesn’t post about us. I wish he would acknowledge me on social media. He claims he doesn’t want it.He likes and comments on other people stuff or posts about his hobbies, but never his wife. I have told him it hurts me, but he just doesn’t get it. He says, I married you and that was my exclamation to the world
    I need more than that. How should I cope or fix it?

  10. Elaine February 8, 2016 at 1:36 pm #

    I’m glad you posted all the reasons you need facebook because YES EXACTLY.

    Those are the things I tell my husband. He is the same way. We just got into an argument about me posting a reveal of our second child on facebook. His lack of enthusiasm was disappointing yet not surprising. He really turned it into a “you know I just don’t like facebook” kind of thing.

    First, I know our families all know but I want those congratulations and expressions of happiness from people. I want to tell my friends all in one place. And yes, he probably knows maybe 5% of the people on my friends list but all I wanted was him to be excited with me.

    I just gave in and said fine, I just won’t post anything.

    He doesn’t get that I moved an hour away from all my friends and family (whom I was always EXTREMELY close with) and I’m just lonely. It’s nice having people like your funny status updates, or agreeing with you or telling you how cute your daughter is. I know I don’t NEED it but I really do kinda. It kind of sucks honestly.

  11. Alex February 12, 2016 at 1:23 pm #

    I don’t understand why people feel social media deserves more attention than you husband or wife and kids.. My wife is ALL about social media and I hate it. She can’t just sit on the couch with me at night and watch a movie with our loving family and not care about what Sally may or Joe Shmoe does it says on Facebook, snapchat or Twitter. Seems to me that this world and the society we live in going to garbage. All because of the damn internet and there is nothing wrong with staying connected to your loved ones online bc it IS easier, especially with long distant relatives and friends. But seriously are they more important to you than your own family. I mean come on people. Life isn’t about how many followers or friends you have. It’s about the happiness and quality of life in your IMMEDIATE family. Put your phones down and spend some real quality time with your husband, wife and kids. That’s why your with them right? Because you enjoy their company? Right?!?!

  12. Shelley February 13, 2016 at 11:21 am #

    Hi,
    Just had this conversation with my hubby. He doesn’t want me posting anything even remotely personal-including the picture of the pretty flowers he gave me.
    Ugh!
    I guess I won’t post them and will consider his feelings about the whole thing.
    It’s tricky though when I am so excited about special things like that and he doesn’t want me to share it.
    Guess I’ll stick to me only and not post anything else.
    Thanks for your blog it’s a good one.
    Shelley

  13. Ship January 14, 2017 at 4:15 am #

    Hi Tonya,
    I read your blog and I am in the same situation as you. But its extremely annoyingand and frustrating when all i want him to do is just like my posts because i am extremely active on facebook and instagram. I juat expect some appreciation from him for my pics on insta. That’s all i want from him. But he refuses to open an account and we end up fighting every time this topic comes up. I’m extremely frustrated with this habit of his and looking to find a solution… :(it is very annoying and angers me a lot.. 🙁

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