Every parent has some sort of secret, or not so secret, fear when it comes to his or her kids. Some moms are worried sick that their child will smother themselves in their sleep, others struggle with non-family members caring for their child, mine is choking.

I haven’t always had this phobia, but since I had my daughter it’s something that has been ever present and growing. I remember going to lunch with a friend of mine and her son started gagging on a piece of fruit – I practically lurched across the table to assist…not sure what I was going to do, but it scared me to death and I wasn’t about to just sit there. My friend was super calm about the whole thing and swiped the offending piece of food out of his mouth with her finger.

I just remember sitting down after his little episode and looking down at my sweet sleeping daughter in her little car seat (she was still on an all liquid diet) and silently sending her a little message, “Don’t you ever do that to me.”

Well, you know how it goes…it’s inevitable that our little ones may encounter some difficulty as they become familiar with solids and my daughter was no exception, but she never actually choked…well at least until last week that is.

You should see me as I’m writing this…my hands are shaking and just thinking about that day has my airways closing up.

Before I recount what occurred I do want to state that I am not 100% sure what exactly happened or if anything happened at all. I know that sounds super weird, but here it is…

A friend of mine was in town for a visit and wanted to meet for brunch. I brought my two-year-old daughter with me and so off we went. My baby girl was very chatty and animated and active throughout our little visit. She and I shared some pancakes, eggs, fruit and bacon (all things she’s had before and cut-up). I was eating, listening, talking and watching my daughter during our meal.

But, suddenly I just got a weird feeling – my friend was talking and I look at my daughter, her eyes were rolled up looking at the ceiling and she looked pale – I knew she had just eaten a little piece of bacon. I called her name several times without a response. I checked to see if she was breathing, but I couldn’t feel any breath (I think my adrenaline was shooting through my veins and made it that much more difficult for me to sense anything). I got her out of her chair and patted her on the back, and was trying to also get my finger in her mouth to check for lodged food.

In the mean time, the people sitting around us saw what was happening and a really nice woman got up right away to help. I set my daughter on top of my chair and the other woman got behind her and placed her hands on my baby’s stomach ready to perform the Heimlich Maneuver – this is when I was able to swipe my finger in her mouth, but I felt nothing, at least not that I could remember and so I was crouching before my daughter looking up into her eyes – just as the other woman was about to proceed I heard the most welcoming sound on this entire planet – a very loud cry and an intake of breath!

I cannot even tell you how relieved I was. My little girl cried for some time – mostly because she didn’t like that the other lady had touched her, but I’m sure part of that was also fear (hers and probably sensing mine). We left once she had recovered and went home, at which point I immediately called her pediatrician.

When your little one gags on a piece of food but is able to spit it out and recovers all you need to do is keep an eye on them for a little bit to make sure they seem alright and continue to eat and drink normally. If your child is obviously choking and you are able to remove the item you would have the evidence before you. But, because I wasn’t sure whether she had choked or not our P.A. told me to keep a very close eye on her for the next twelve hours. Since she didn’t spit anything out there was a possibility that if anything was stuck that it may have crept into her trachea. This would affect her breathing resulting in a chest X-ray and then removal of the object.

Needless to say after getting off the phone with the doctor’s office I watched my kiddo like a hawk. But, aside from skipping her nap she was eating, drinking and acting normal. That didn’t stop me from waking up every hour during the night to check on her. However, in the end she was fine and healthy (thank the stars)!

Like I said before, I’m not sure what exactly happened. I cannot tell you with absolute certainty that she was choking or whether she was just ignoring me. But, something just didn’t seem right. She doesn’t usually ignore me like that and she just seemed pale and absent. I went with my mommy gut and I don’t regret it.

What I do regret is not having handled it as well as I should have. The fact that the other woman got up and seemed to know right away what to do left me feeling and knowing that I was under prepared for an event like this. I especially realized this after later reading that the two things I did do were wrong and could have made things worse. I have taken a CPR course in which the Heimlich Maneuver was covered. However, it’s been eons and I know that some revisions have been made in how to perform it.

I do NOT EVER want to feel so under prepared as I did that day. I want to know and feel confident that if God forbid anything like that ever happened again that I would be able to step in and know what to do and how to do it whether it is my child that’s hurting or someone else’s.

So, as of right now I am looking into taking another course in CPR and First Aid. The Internet is chock-a-block full of resources, but here are some of the ones I’m checking into:

www.cprplus.info

www.redcross.org

www.edinburgems.com

My hope is that this post will encourage you to reflect and ask yourself, “Am I prepared?” I’ll get back to y’all after I complete my refresher course. Until then have a safe summer :)!