A Single Mother’s Love Letter on Father’s Day

Father’s Day is near! As a 30-some year old woman, my Facebook feed is no longer plagued by wild night out photos but rather pictures of children, mom tips, play dates, and the dreaded Father’s Day reminders. Before thinking that this is a sad sob story post…don’t.

I am a single mother.  My daughter’s father is not missing Father’s Day because he died, he is not across the world fighting in a war, he has chosen to just not be around.  I’m not complaining, because I made the conscious decision to “let him off the hook” and be a single mother.  There are times when it is difficult filling the role of two people, but I would never change a moment of how my daughter is growing up.  However, I will admit, Father’s Day brings me doses of major guilt.  So in an effort to explain how I feel to my most beautiful child, I’ve written a letter.

Dearest Daughter,

I am writing this to you today because I need you to know you are the most precious creation I have ever seen.  I have never loved anything as close to as much as I love you.  I am your mother, and I am sorry that I made the decision to act as your father as well.  I hope I never let you down or that you are ever made to feel like you have missed out because “he” is not around.  Please do not ever feel like it was in any way your fault that “he” chose not to be near…not even a smidgeon because “he” is the fool for missing out on you!  I hope that you go through life knowing that you are loved…immensely, and not only by me – but by all who meet you.

You, my darling, are a beautiful and angelic child.  Nothing touches my heart more than seeing your gap tooth smile, feeling your sweet kisses, or hearing the sound of your perfect little voice calling out mommy.  I am your mother, and I pray that I am enough.  I hope you never feel an inadequate sense of love because my heart bursts with enough love for you to equal an infinite amount of people loving you.

On this day, your friends may be excited to present their fathers with homemade cards, pinterest inspired gifts or coffee mugs.  At some point, you may question why you aren’t making “him” presents.  You may have his eyes, his hair and his flat thumbs but your grandfathers, uncles and honorary uncles love and cherish you just as much or even more than the “real” dads out there.   

On this Father’s Day, I promise to do my best to fulfill all duties a mother and father have to you.  For all your life, I promise to try to bring as much joy and happiness to you as you have done for me.  I promise to hold your hand and hold you whenever you are in pain, especially if it is because of the lack of “him”.  Forever and always you will be my first love, my precious baby girl…don’t you ever forget that, and if you do, I will be there to remind you.

With every ounce of love in my bursting heart,

Mom

For those single mommas who may be struggling this weekend, here are a few tips to perhaps ease the difficulty.

• Plan Sunday activities that will ensure fun, bonding and special memories between mother and child.
• Create an open, honest and safe zone for your child to express any emotions that may arise due to the lack of an extra parent.  This can be done through art, writing, music or just plain old conversation.
• Plan a special meal with the men in your child’s life, whether it be a grandfather, uncle, or “honorary” uncle.

I hope each and every one of you have a wonderful Father’s Day and to those single moms out there…Bravo to you for being two parents in one!