Do I… or Do I Not… Take My Toddler to a Wedding

Do I or Don’t I? {Take My Little to a Wedding}

When my husband and I were planning our wedding we knew one thing for sure – we wanted an adult only reception. Yes, yes, I know to some people it sounds harsh, but we had a lot of logic that was in our pre-marital bliss minds that still has a lot of logic today, even 4 years later.  Mind you, this didn’t play well with many of our family members at first…but it was our day and we were sticking to it!

This summer, with a toddler of our own, we were faced with other side of the card.

We had two out-of-state weddings to attend – one in Lovely Las Vegas and one in New  Hampshire. I have to tell you, being faced with the question now ourselves really puts things into perspective (looking for advice online for ‘what to do with a baby in Las Vegas’ can be comical and somewhat mean! I found a lot of ‘just don’t go,’ and ‘try do do everything you can to not take your baby.’) . After talking to a lot of other moms and looking up tons of advice online, we did what was ultimately best for the couples getting married.  Here are a few of the ‘pointers’ that I found from moms, from online blogs and from being a normal bride and a sorta-normal mommy myself:

1. Do what the couple wants. It is, after all, their day – if the couple’s invitation states ‘Adult reception only’ or something similar, there is your answer. From what I’ve learned, adding more questions to the bride and groom about their day might add additional stress. So asking them even though the instructions are already there may not be your best tactic.
2. If there is no indicator on the invitation, go ahead and ask – Ask if it is an adult only reception and be prepared for whatever the bride and groom or wedding coordinator says.
3. If there is a ‘children are welcome’ line or ‘babysitters available on site’ line – decide if this is something you may want to look into. A lot of couples also use weddings as actual date nights if they have a babysitter available. If you don’t have a babysitter available and you want to take your little one, make sure you have all the necessities (diaper bag, food, books, toys, goodie bag, etc). At the ceremony it is reasonable to sit on the end of the row you are in just to make sure you can make an easy exit if your little one needs some room.

Having a babysitter on call is not always an option and there might be just a sometimes when you need to stay home with your little one. If this is the case, not to worry! Check to see if you can attend another wedding celebration for the couple with your little one – the rehearsal, a shower, or even a post-wedding celebration with just the families.

So going back to our summer of out-of-state weddings, the Las Vegas wedding was a great ‘children are invited’ wedding, off the strip with plenty of kiddos there. The NH wedding had babysitters on site which worked out great for us and allowed for some adult time while we knew Addy was getting cared for.

We were very lucky, but in the same sense, we knew that if these weren’t options for us one of us would have stayed with Addy while the other went to the receptions.  At the end of the day, what mattered is that we got to travel as a family and celebrate with the couples getting married.