How My Baby’s Bald Spot Changed Me

I wasn’t a mother.
As a strong, independent, educated, know-it-all woman I had my ideas of how motherhood would be and what my kids would be like.

One thing was for sure, my kids would NOT have a bald spot on the back of their head.

How My Baby's Bald Spot Changed Me :: RGV Moms Blog

Those poor children, I thought.
They must be left in their crib all day.
How sad.
That will never happen to my unborn, future, perfect child.

Then I had my first little boy and sure enough, he was perfect. He was perfect from his eyes to his smile to his toes and his chin and all the way around to the big shiny bald spot on the back of his head.

My son did not spend hours in his crib, neglected by those that loved him. He was played with, stimulated, toted around town for this and that, taken for walks in the neighborhood, carried in arms, cuddled, nursed, loved.

He had tummy time, lots of it, and despite all of that love, one sweep around the back of his head revealed a patch of fine, short hair.
Always trying to grow back.
Never quite getting there.
Quite pronounced aside a head topped with long spikey hair that rarely tamed.

My poor child? No. Absolutely not.
This bald spot changed me.

How My Baby's Bald Spot Changed Me :: RGV Moms Blog

My first child and his balding head.

It showed me how little one can know of another’s child and yet quickly come to an assumption about them.
It showed me how little this bald spot mattered in the grand scheme of things.

My kid has fine hair. He rubs it off in the crib. He sleeps on his back, as recommended in standard practice with infants. He wakes up and the area where he sleeps is riddled with fine baby hairs. From the back of his head. And I think his bald spot is quite adorable!

I love my selectively bald baby.

It is really impossible to know what you will think and feel before you go through that physical change of becoming a mother. Now having my sons, I have a difficult time remembering what I thought and felt before August of 2011 with respect to children, although I do remember secretly disapproving of back-of-head bald spots.

I will readily admit that the bald spot on the back of my kid’s head likely spawns all sorts of secret thoughts in the minds of passersby and moms of kids with thick locks or shaved heads.

The good news? That hair grew in and with it grew a mind of its own. It’s thick and full and crazy in the mornings. It’s beautiful and the only judgement it spawned in toddlerhood was gender confusion from strangers.

So for now I suggest that the next time you see a baby with a giant bald spot on the back of their head, remember how wrong I was about its significance and see if their mom will let you kiss it for good luck.

How My Baby's Bald Spot Changed Me :: RGV Moms Blog

Perfectly happy, healthy, and loved, with a beautiful, shiny bald spot on the back of his head.

 

More on motherhood:

On Having Three Under 3

Preparing for Baby
38 Weeks – 33 Weeks30 Weeks –  28 Weeks

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7 Responses to How My Baby’s Bald Spot Changed Me

  1. Hope December 16, 2014 at 8:16 pm #

    My baby was born with a cephalohematoma. Basically a “bruise” from being born that resulted in a HUGE squishy lump that spanned an entire plate of her skull. I cannot tell you how many people gave me shitty looks, how many insensitive people asked “what HAPPENED?!?”

    She was born, that is all that happened. Typically these hematomas are seen with babies born ventouse, but we had an unmedicated, natural, birth-center birth. She may have just bumped her head on the inside or my pelvis or my tailbone (ouch!), but we don’t know what exactly caused it. The lump subsided at around 3 months old. Even my MIL said (after the fact, thank god) “that was SCARY.” No. It wasn’t scary. Nothing was wrong, she was and is my precious girl. She was just a little lumpy (karmic justice for me calling my baby bump a “baby lump”). She has met or exceeded every milestone for almost a year-and-a-half now.

    My baby is perfect.

    • Anastasia Rodriguez Perez
      Anastasia Rodriguez Perez December 16, 2014 at 8:56 pm #

      Dear Hope,
      I’m so glad you found my story and yes, our babies are perfect! Thank you for sharing!
      -Anastasia

  2. Gretchin December 23, 2014 at 1:25 pm #

    That’s what I love about this network of blogs — the message against judgment of others. We all do it, usually silently, but these types of posts are a constant reminder to let it go. We never know what others are going through, or even if our thoughts are ideas are warranted (like that, a bald head meant a probably-neglected baby — I’ve secretly thought the same of some babies)!

    Thank you so much for sharing this story. Every mom I’ve met through this network has been nothing but supportive of my mommy journey and, oh boy, do we need to be! This job ain’t easy! 🙂

    • Anastasia Rodriguez Perez
      Anastasia Rodriguez Perez December 23, 2014 at 1:40 pm #

      Hi Gretchin,
      It took me a long time to admit what I used to think, and oh, how I was wrong! It is very important to be supportive of each other, absolutely. I’m glad this story spoke to you, too 🙂

      -Anastasia

  3. Joel June 24, 2016 at 6:18 pm #

    We in the bald community find this blog to be baldist.

  4. Samantha March 14, 2017 at 8:10 pm #

    Thank you so much for this. My first baby, a beautiful little girl, is now three months old. I stress about this bald spot everyday because I worry that people will think I’m neglecting my baby girl. Who cares what they think?! I provide love, care, stimulation, and fun for this baby every single day. It just so happens that her hair is fine and she moves her head a lot when she’s laying down. Thank you for helping me realize I’m not the only one with these feelings. 🙂

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