Possibly one of the most important ingredients for many things …
Friendships – the good ones, at least.
…the business kind,
…and those between siblings, a mother and child, or a father and his child.
And that can get tricky when a child’s parents are separated. Sometimes, just sometimes, it isn’t the easiest thing for separated parents to get along, much less keep a line of communication with each other. But the effort to try and get along is always most beneficial for the child(ren) involved. I say this from experience, as my son’s father and I are not together.
Daddy has his own life.
Mommy has her very own life as well.
And my sweet baby boy, well … he lives a life shared between two parents, two soon-to-be stepparents, and two half-siblings (whom he absolutely loves dearly!).
And I am not going to lie … sometimes mommy and daddy don’t get along. But we definitely try. And when we aren’t doing such a good job of getting along, I definitely do not let my son suffer from it.
Mommy and daddy’s issues are exactly that – mommy’s and daddy’s!
That sweet boy of ours definitely does not need to know the details, and he should NEVER … I repeat, NEVER … have to choose a side, EVER! Should I emphasize more on this?! 😉
But whether mommy and daddy can (or cannot) keep an open communication, that line of communication between the child and their parents should never be shut down – by anyone. Not mommy. Not daddy. And definitely not the child. So I try my hardest to keep that line of communication open between my little man and his father.
But trust me, I am a work in progress! Sometimes I am able to follow through. And sometimes, so many times unfortunately, I miss great opportunities 🙁
Take for example, Father’s Day. Father’s Day! Can you believe that?! – and I was so close; so close! Kaindan had picked out his favorite Father’s Day card for his father, and even signed it – and this was weeks before the special day! But come the week of, and guess what?! Where is that darn card??! AHH! Of course, I would lose it 🙁 I did find it though, months (and I mean MONTHS) later.
So guess what we did this year,…same thing, MINUS the losing part! 🙂 Whoop! Whoop! Except my plan was delayed a bit – Kaindan had gone and spent some unplanned time with his father (which was great for Kaindan!), but not for the time-sensitive delivery of that Father’s Day card. Kaindan literally came back home the Friday before Father’s Day. So we sent it off on Saturday – and obviously, it wasn’t going to make it there on that special day. But the important thing is that it got there. And Kaindan was so excited to send it off!
He is always thinking of his father and siblings. This past year at his school fair, he saw a book that reminded him of his brother. He asked me if we could buy it for him; and although I was initially hesitant to add more dollars to the cart, I decided to buy it … because it was such a sincere thought from his heart – a book on a topic that he knew his brother loved.
How could I say no to that?! So we bought it. And one for his sister too. His choice! And we took those books home, and bought the cutest bubble packaging for them – one for each, of his choosing! And with the okay from his soon-to-be stepmother, we shipped those books off! Each package shipped with lots and lots of love, waiting to be ripped apart by their awaiting recipients.
Yes! I pulled it off! High five for this momma over here! 🙂
So I move forward in this journey of parenthood, hoping to make the best of it for my little booger. That he should never come across a shut door – on my behalf, that is! And that he knows that his relationship with his other family is of importance to me as well. I want him to know how important he is to me! And how important family is! I want him to know ALL his family – but through his eyes, not mine. And the only way to let that happen is to do my part in making sure that there is always some sort of communication between them. Whether it be by telephone, letters, books, little gifts mailed-off, or unplanned visits … just so long as I instill in him the importance of communication!